Twitticisms


It's time for another batch of selected Twits from Twitter. As usual, I've mostly culled the overtly (would-be) humorous lines and left out the mundane as well as my part in various conversations.

I should alert those averse to political humor that the past week's worth of Twits — i.e., the last half of this batch — touch upon the Republican and Democratic National Conventions. Like The Daily Show, I probably appear to lean to the so-called left (or, if you prefer, "pinko commie liberal"), but only because an open mind, inclusion, and social justice come naturally to me; also like The Daily Show, I hope that when the situation warrants it — and/or just when the joke is there begging to be made — I'm an equal-opportunity caller on bullshit, regardless of party, conservative or progressive, albeit not for 21 minutes plus commercials in a studio 4 nights a week. I do mostly avoid outright political stuff on the blog, although I suspect that as the November elections near I will make at least one big exception to that avoidance in addition to smaller ones in the form of my Twitterings.

You've been warned.

24 August 2012

Reg'lar Popeye: "Well, blow me down." Dirty Popeye: "Well, blow me."

25 August 2012

Cosplay is dressing up as the Huxtable family, right?

26 August 2012

@theDivaLea: For some reason that sounds like either nautical talk or British innuendo. / RT @yakkopinky Did you ad lib the ponders?

27 August 2012

Happy False Labor Day (US, est. 2012)! Ain't it about time we had a holiday to celebrate irregular contractions?

My friend LK to me: "You're so old you have a CRT laptop."

28 August 2012

Watching TV with glitchy digital cable is kinda fun if you like everyone to occasionally sound like they're belching.

29 August 2012

I hear that groceries in FL are catering to the GOP delegates by only selling legitimate grapes. The irony (?) is that they're seedless.

21.5% of Canadians are too polite. / RT @stats_canada "78% of Canadians think they could beat up Michael Cera."

31 August 2012

I bet Todd Akin believes that Jews have an easy time keeping kosher because their kitchens magically deal with legitimate trayf.

This Week in Mitt Romney: Tues., officially nom'd by GOP; Thurs., addresses RNC; today, finally gets "Rominee" pun, laughs that weird laugh

I have a conservative friend who thought there was too much variety at The Magic Pan. He rejects certain fillings in legitimate crepes.

Mad props to GOP techs who introduced asynchronous blinking to the late-'12 Mitt Romney and Callista Gingrich 'bots in time for the RNC!

1 September 2012

My friend LK to me: "You're so old you subscribe to Hulu Plus for the DuMont network."

Todd Akin is still in the race. Have you heard him talk about the female reproductive system? Of course he sees no reason to pull out.

3 September 2012

Made a variation on Waldorf salad for family's Labor Day barbecue — no mayo; blue cheese, in a vinaigrette. Gonna call it the Statler.

5 September 2012

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have been informed by Kool & the Gang and the giant video screen behind me that we officially have a nominee."

6 September 2012

I'm so excited to see whether President Obama accepts the nomination!

They made a mistake getting a pro voiceover guy to do this Biden video. When he talks I expect "scenes from an all-new Heroes on NBC".

I like Joe Biden, honestly, but it's always hard to hear what he's saying over the silent cacophony of his hair plugs.

Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative, I think we can all agree that President Obama has a killer strut.

See the articulate guy talking to a diverse room of supporters about smart policy and social justice? We built that.

6 comments:

Joan Crawford said...

So, fine! It turns out you're pretty great at Twitter :)

Blam said...


There are plenty of other new posts, Joan. Have you nothing to say about baseball or dead comic-book artists? Do you enjoy throwing stones at glass houses, Ms. "Dead Birds" Was in June?

A lazy eye, a crooked smile, and a penchant for sarcasm will only get you so far in this world. It's a good thing you're somewhat Canadian.

Arben said...

I enjoy following you on Twitter. So it's Zombie vs. Maskatron (or, as Joan called me, Human Jukebox).

Joan Crawford said...

I wish there was some way to put up a smirking emoticon with a lazy eye!

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@Arben - It really does look like one and it cannot be unseen! However, I do remember being told it was a actually a remote control that controls the 6 million dollar man or something like that!


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Joan Crawford said...

Hmm, that doesn't look quite right, let's try again:

Ha! I just made one that looked like boobs! And that's LK's thing...

I'll have to give it more thought.

Joan Crawford said...

Maybe like this?

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