Twitticisms & TCB
First up are a few bits of blog business, followed by the second installment of your humble host's Twitter postlets.
My clean-up work is moving along steadily if far more slowly than I'd hoped. I can say the same for my various online endeavors, including but not limited to the formal move of Blam's Blog to a new home outside the bare-bones redundant echoes I'd set up on Blogger, WordPress, and TypePad for emergency activation after I confirmed vandalism hackage here. Yeah, I know, it seems like I've been talking about that almost since the blog began. As long as the blog is being updated and isn't being moved, however, I want to make it look as good and operate as cleanly as possible within the Blogger framework. I'm fairly pleased with how that's going, at least.
The service — a term that constantly tempts me to place irony quotes around it (I stop when I remember that it's free and that I have no-one to blame for me sticking around but myself) — did fix some of the comments bugs that I complained about during its latest would-be upgrade, although there remain plenty of changes to Blogger's behind-the-scenes features that defy belief. Example: Labels are no longer listed down the side of our Dashboard's (I think it's all called the Dashboard) Posts view; I now have to scroll through the Label selection in a small pop-up window, no alphabetical jumps by keystroke allowed. Blogger still gets points for spam control, however.
[Update: I've actually reinstituted the CAPTCHA boxes since writing this, despite Blogger's switch to uglier, two-part word/number/symbol verification, and despite the fact that the little feedback that I got told me not to worry, because the constant robot E-mail was bugging me. So the belabored audience-participation segment of this post has been excised.]
Now here's the past month's worth of my wittiest words on Twitter.
I've done this once before and will probably keep it up for as long as I continue to post bursts of pithiness, which is frankly an activity that I've second-guessed plenty. What I'm leaving out is mundane chat on the one hand and high-volume humorous hashtag sprees on the other, most of the latter better served by being broken out into their own posts. As before, I've stitched together Twitterings that had to be sent successively due to the 140-character limit.
You can follow me on Twitter by subscribing to my account, @BrianLamken, or simply by visiting the web-page called up at that link.
21 July 2012
Suzanne Vega is not actually a vegan. #NoReally
One in ten members of the so-called religious right is left-handed. #NoReally
Jim Henson once had to cancel a taping of The Muppet Show because he had a frog in his throat. #NoReally
Dear media folks: "corps" is not a homophone of "corpse" but of "core"; it's French and you don't pronounce the "ps".
Dear media folks who cover the media: "Corp." is not "Corps" — it's short for "Corporation"; you pronounce the "p".
22 July 2012
Very simple anagram of "THE DARK KNIGHT RISES": "HARK TED KNIGHT RISES". Apologies to his loved ones, but that'd be an awesome zombie movie.
23 July 2012
The DCU / Game of Thrones Amalgam we'll probably never see: Superman: Kal Drogo.
24 July 2012
I'm not usually one for dirty pranks, but I really wanna swarm Chick-Fil-A restaurants and graffiti "TIO" at the end of all the logos.
Earlier tonight my cousin's kid was skipping through music to show us some dance moves. Mom: "I thought you were doing Justin Bieber." Kid: "No, I'm doing Selena Gomez." Me: "I thought Selena Gomez was doing Justin Bieber."
#WhyCapsMatter "Is that turquoise nail polish?" vs. "Is that turquoise nail Polish?"
25 July 2012
I have a friend who's consistently Employee of the Month at an ice-cream parlor / Internet cafe. She's great at maltytasking.
26 July 2012
Major lightning again. Either the Batsons are back in town or Johnny Thunder is singing Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me".
27 July 2012
I made a nice omelet.
31 July 2012
5-year-old nephew's epiphany: "Hey! You're my UNCLE and your name is UNCLE BRIAN!" #DudeWhatAreTheOdds
1 August 2012
I'd forgot how much I like pudding.
Me tired + article referring to "Olympics promo" = "There's an Olympics porno?!?"
I made a nice omelet. I usually stick with the single-fold, but tonight I went for the overlapping double-fold — trickier to keep intact, easier to flip when it works.
2 August 2012
I support #PussyRiot. I've never heard their music, but I'm all for freedom of expression; plus, my cat thinks they're hilarious.
3 August 2012
My friend LK to me: "You're so old you have a rotary cell phone." (If they made them, I totally would.)
4 August 2012
I bet he dribbled. / @DoctorBitz: "Just peed next to a Harlem Globetrotter."
My niece came up with a joke that's hilarious but has a rather limited audience of those with knowledge of both Hebrew and Star Wars:
"What did the Wookie Hebrew-school teacher say to his noisy student?"
"Sheket, Chewbacca, shah!" #ICouldntBeProuder
Huge props to God for making the removal of dryer lint so enjoyable... #SimplePleasuresAreTheBest #LateNightLaundry
5 August 2012
In the Marvel Universe, Hanson's big hit was "Doombop". The ruler of Latveria was not amused.
Fantastic storm brewing! (comment on the weather) / Fantastic Storm brewing! (comment on Johnny or Sue's coffee skills) #WhyCapsMatter
6 August 2012
If Ben Grimm ever marries Alicia Masters, I bet their first dance is to @NeilDiamond's "Love on the Rocks".
Don't make me block you for content, J. Torr— oh. Never mind. / RT @jtorrescomics More fancy Korean muffins...
Have you ever thought "I should really be using a potholder" one millisecond too late? #OuchWhyAmITyping
7 August 2012
I made a nice leftovers omelet and failed to inform you. Not a fancy name — the remains of a hoagie were used as filling.
Remains of a Hoagie is also the little-known working draft of a certain Kazuo Ishiguro novel, written after visiting Philadelphia.
The garlic extra-virgin olive oil from Trader Joe's is almost literally awesomesauce. I hate to be one of Those People, but it's true.
Will anyone be offended if I absolutely refuse to use the word "Bronies" after this once?
Local news: "Ryan Howard hits this 2-run shot in the very first inning." They're numbered, dude. Just emphasize the words "1st inning".
Now the word "inning" looks all weird to me.... inning inning inning inning sofa sofa sofa inning ladle machine inning syzygy syzygy syzygy
8 August 2012
DC's missing out on a marketing tie-in: Gold, Silver, & Bronze — The Medal Men! #LameAndObviousComicsPuns
Olaf, André, Chuck, Stanislaus, and Zinda sleep on pillows made from Blackhawk down. #LameAndObviousComicsPuns
Hercules, Black Widow, Angel, Iceman, and Ghost Rider enjoy Wheaties, the Breakfast of Champions! #LameAndObviousComicsPuns
16 August 2012
I've been off Twitter for a week and a day. What'd I miss?
17 August 2012
I had my first Wawa hoagie in 10 days. This makes no sense to people within and outside the Philly area for totally different reasons.
My friend LK to me: "You're so old you're waiting until iPads come with a UHF dial."
18 August 2012
If a punk performance-art protest so threatens your power that you have to jail the artists, your problem ain't the artists. #PussyRiot
What's a better tribute band name, Kitty Conniption or Cooter Tantrum? Not to make light of freedom of speech or anything. #FreePussyRiot
Love at First Bit.Ly #TwitterMovies
140 Characters in Search of an Author #TwitterMovies
Don't Tell Mom But Maybe Twitter's Dead #TwitterMovies
21 August 2012
I made a nice omelet.
@budgie: Can you B positive, though? / RT "I've got to go for blood tests. Not sure why. Pretty sure it is blood inside me."
You think the members of ABBA were all universal donors? @budgie #bloodhumour (#hahagetitbloodhumour)
"This isn't a zoo, sir." "Yes, I know; I said I'm looking for a hip phlebotomist." @budgie #bloodhumour (#hahagetitbloodhumour)
22 August 2012
I'll say this much for #Twitter: It's eclectic (boogie woogie woogie...).
23 August 2012
RT: "@BrianLamken Can I get an RT?" (via @BrianLamken) LOL teh pwn Interwebs #meme Pls RT!