The Amazing Spider-Man
Minus Andrew Garfield Plus Garfield



Garfield head © year of creation Paws Inc. 
Original version of quote: Stan Lee for Marvel Comics © 1962
Spider-Man photo © 2012 Marvel Entertainment LLC
Tweak to text & digital maniupulation: Brian Saner Lamken for Blam's Blog
Just a goof! No infringement upon intellectual property is intended or implied.
[Update: Now on Tumblr!]


One good Garfield deserves another. You've heard of Garfield Minus Garfield, right? Here's... well, I think the post title says it all.

I don't know why, but I always seem to come up with this sort of stuff when I have a migraine. Feel free to (in fact, please) share!


18 comments:

Arben said...

Ha! This is the shiznit, as kids have told me not to say.

Joan Crawford said...

I like this a lot, it has a certain je ne sais quoi - it just works.

Batcabbage said...

Nice one. I like how even though he has the comparative abilities of a spider, he looks incredibly depressed. Probably the lack of lasagne (which I'm making right now, funnily enough).

Speaking of spiders, has anyone seen the new movie? Is it another origin tale? Did they take the smart route and the the 'spider bite/freaks out/President Bartlett dies/makes costume' part in five minutes, and then get to kicking lizard-arse?

Batcabbage said...

Ha! Turns out I stutter when I type. The 'the the' there was supposed to be 'do the', as in 'take the smart route and do the'. Heh. Now, lasagne!

Blam said...


I think you mean, "Lo, There Shall Come a Lasagne!"

Spoiler-free replies, since my review has been on hold:

No, ASM does quite the opposite actually. The origin's rather drawn-out, taking up the first hour or so, in part because they've added stuff about his parents. What bugged me more was that a few key points were missing. And the fight scenes were to me the least compelling, because while the early CGI of Spidey is top-notch, The Lizard in general and most of Spidey too in the Lizard battles look too fake, totally taking me out of the picture. (Granted, I'm not very tolerant on that score.) For the most part the character work — angst, family, and romance — was the best thing about the movie, along with the early "discovering his powers" stuff; Peter did take some questionable turns as he set down the path to superherodom, though.

Blam said...


@Joan: it has a certain je ne sais quoi

I don't know what you mean.

@Batcabbage: I like how even though he has the comparative abilities of a spider, he looks incredibly depressed.

Isn't that the big overlap in the Venn diagram of Garfield and Marvel characters?

Joan Crawford said...

Quelque chose a été perdu dans-la traduction. Écoutez, je vais mettre mes cantaloups sur la table et que c'est la fin de celui-ci ...

Joan Crawford said...

That was partly you for and partly for ELKUHH (who hates it that I am too lazy to find the accent for her name).

Blam said...


Let's try this again...

I was worried that "mes cantaloups" might be a euphemism, but if you're walkin' away from 'em then I guess it ain't or you gots even bigger problems than I thought.

On a Mac keyboard it's the option key plus the "e" key for accent aigu, then whatever letter (usually "e") you want the accent aigu over. On a PC keyboard... Holy crap! This is Reason #493 why Mac are better than Windows PCs.

Batcabbage said...

@Blam: Eagerly awaiting your review, sir! Thanks for the quick low down, though. Shame about the poor CG, especially since (in my opinion) it was really well done in the Raimi series. Glad to hear they've done well on the character side.

@Joan: Wow! The French word for cantaloupe is cantaloupe! The Aussie word for it is rockmelon. Sounds less appetising, I admit, but there you go. When I first heard the word 'cantaloupe', I thought it was some kind of woodland creature, like a deer except smaller.

@Blam again: but if you're walkin' away from 'em then I guess it ain't or you gots even bigger problems than I thought.

Haha! Might not be that much of a problem. Might be convenient, actually...

Blam said...


Thank you, M. le Batcabbage, for inspiring me to come up with text for the pic! I must've ruminated on what you said overnight, for inspiration struck this morning. Now it's done.

Like I said, the early CGI on Spider-Man in ASM, mixed with actual stunt work, is deliriously good. It's the later fight scenes, with The Lizard in particular both in motion and at rest, that disappointed. Your mileage may well vary, though; I can't stand most of the CGI work in Raimi's first Spider-Man — the figure looks like a videogame or something, no weight or resistance to it.

I did not know of "rockmelon" but really like it (the word I mean, although I do find cantaloupe yummy).

Joan Crawford said...

@Batcabbage - I too like "rockmelon"! Tell me, do you guys have squash there? I only ask because I was talking to guy from Dublin one time and he was amazed with squash - he'd never even heard of it before. Is it just a North American thing, I wonder? Also, and this a bit indelicate, but... do you call sex "root"? Or do you call a wiener a "root"? Am I making up all this?

Also, the French word for cantaloupe is supposed to be "pamplemousse" but I just use the Google translate tool and copy/paste what it tells me.

Might be convenient, actually...

Hear, hear!

Batcabbage said...

@Joan - yep, we have squash. They're yellow, and I don't like them (not because they're yellow, obviously, but because they're yucky, and I don't like it - speaking of which, do you have chokos? They're a green tasteless thing that apparently I liked when I was a baby, but now I can't stand). And yes! We do refer to sex sometimes as 'a root'. But you wouldn't say it like 'I've been having root' as you would 'I've been having sex' because that's just mental. You would say 'I've been having a root.' Or you could say 'I've been rooting.' It's more of a slang term really, and not very common any more (as far as I know). It's hilarious. And no, we don't refer to 'weiners' as 'roots'. You know, this is the weirdest thing I've ever left on a comment, and that includes the obscure Lost haiku. Wow.

Also, pamplemousse sounds like an awesome name for a poodle.

Arben said...

I'd like to direct everyone's attention away from the Swamp Thing sex and back to how Blam made this pic even awesomer.

Awesomer, Blam!

I'm looking forward to your review of the movie just to see how you lay out some of things we've discussed, but I know better than to rush you. For me, while it had story problems, I liked it a lot. I'm not sure I liked it better than Raimi's Spider-Man 2, which is an all-out great Marvel-style superhero yarn on screen, but I preferred it to Spider-Man 1.

Blam said...


Merci, Arb!

@Batcabbage: Eagerly awaiting your review, sir!
@Arben: I'm looking forward to your review of the movie

Don't spend too much psychic energy on anticipation, because the review isn't done and my sister and her kids are arriving any minute now for a long visit. I hate starting something like that and not finishing it, due to both the anticipation (I mean my own, of having a final piece) and the energy spent on it that could've been spent on something else, but I did plan on a review of the movie being one of just a few posts I'd get up this month; that, besides the excitement, is why I pushed to see it opening night, to give myself a buffer zone before the weekend, but it's just been a tough several days.

@Joan: the French word for cantaloupe is supposed to be "pamplemousse"

Tu a l'utilisé dans la passé, tu sais.

@Joan: but I just use the Google translate tool and copy/paste what it tells me.

Aha! That explains why there were proper accents there in the same comment in which you protested that El Qué's handle was too onerous for you.

You did say you were just leaving the cantaloupes on the table, of course; I merely inferred that you were walking away literally or metaphorically from the discussion at hand by your tone. Still, Joan Crawford's Amazing Removable Melons would surely bring some hits to your blog if you ever want to change its title.

Joan Crawford said...

"Still, Joan Crawford's Amazing Removable Melons would surely bring some hits to your blog if you ever want to change its title."

Ah, but see, it's getting them to *stay* that's the tricky part. I'd then be expected to at least juggle them (maybe even toss them through hoops-of-fire)... people are never satisfied, the sick bastards.

Oui, je sais.

Joan Crawford said...

@Batcabbage - I have never heard of "chokos". It sounds gross though, so I don't blame you for not liking it.

Joan Crawford said...

I'm getting dangerously close to making my own filthy version of this Garfield-Spiderman thing, Blam, if you don't update soon!

Bulge! A strategically placed bulge will be involved*! Or maybe even multiple bulges, as I now know (thanks, Sonja from Sweden!) that it is possible for there to be more than one! For the love of God, don't force my hand!

*as always, amiright? Wait... what?