It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
"What could be the harm in burning the beard off of this really strong homeless guy?"
That's what Johnny Storm thought, more or less, between the tiers of panels reproduced below.
Panels from "The Coming of The Sub-Mariner!" in Fantastic Four #4 © 1962 Marvel Comics.
Script: Stan Lee. Pencils: Jack Kirby. Inks: Sol Brodsky. Colors: Stan Goldberg. Letters: Artie Simek.
It's one of several contributions that I offered up in a comment on Saturday's post at Tony Isabella's Bloggy Thing — the, well, "bloggy thing" of Tony Isabella, writer of and about comic books (mostly).
When last I mentioned Tony here — to plug his 1,000 Comic Books You Must Read, still available and still a great gift for the comic-book lover in your life — he was just over a year away from ending the long-running Tony's Online Tips at his World Famous Comics forum, a spinoff of his even-longer-running Comics Buyer's Guide column. He's since relaunched his nigh-daily stream of views 'n' reviews on Blogger, which, Godzilla help me, I (among others) recommended to him despite all the hassle it's given me because it remains pretty easy to use for most folks who are less of a control freak and Murphy's Law magnet than yours truly.
Anyway, Tony introduced the Twitter hashtag #badcomicbookchoices last Thursday, generating dozens of suggestions in reply from industry pros and fans that can be found (newest to oldest) at that link. Many were pretty danged funny. I am still not yet on Twitter, but like I said I replied to Tony's Saturday post that included mention of the hashtag.
Sample entry of Tony's: "Maybe cutting through this alley with my wife and kid wasn't such a good idea."
You get the picture, at least if you're a longtime comic-book reader.
The rest of my contributions follow, with some obvious targets missing because others had already riffed on them.
"I'm sure Lex won't mind if I blow out the fire in his lab."
"Hey, Cap, I bet we can disarm this rocket in time..."
"If you're going to be my partner in crimefighting, Roy, you have to adopt a double identity. How about we call you Speedy?"
"And over here is the penthouse's complimentary wet bar, Mr. Stark."
"Yes, Alana, I'm really The Plutonian."
"But I need a stage name. I know — Deadman!"
"Of course I could look through the peephole first. But what are the chances that it's The Joker in bermuda shorts with a gun?"