Dream a Little Dream of Meep; or,
The Subconscious and the Frog

Although my dreams continue to be vivid and enjoyable, I haven't shared any here since first doing such a thing many moons ago.

The other day, however, I put together such an interesting vision in that odd twilight state between dreaming and waking up that I can't help but write about it. While I tried my best to stay in it, I was aware that I was beginning to come out of it and I probably have my emerging consciousness to thank for its being so brief as well as having an ending — a pretty rare thing for dreams, which in my experience tend to slide into one another or just slip away. It was also rare in that I wasn't actually in the dream; not as myself, not even as a POV character.

Animal, Pepé the Prawn, Gonzo, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and the Swedish Chef all seated in a movie theater with drinks and snacks
Screencap from the Muppets' 2011 AMC policy trailer, © 2011 AMC or Muppets Studio or
both, which has nothing to do with this post except a certain thematic association.

Just so that I don't bury the lead any farther, I'll mention now that the dream starred the Muppets.

Or in point of fact it really just starred the voices of the Muppets. The dream opened with a sweeping camera shot over some city skyline, which I was barely aware was actually being projected on a screen within the proscenium of a movie theater. A couple of announcers handled what began as a traditional film-trailer voiceover, interrupted by the Muppets themselves in the kind of "meta" fashion common to many Muppets projects. I pieced the dialogue together as best I could
 when I typed it up, holding onto the strangest, funniest bits as closely as possible, but of course despite the fact that I remember the gist of dreams quite well, quite often, I can't claim that the transcript below is all recalled verbatim from the dreamscape.

Announcer #2 was one of those guys with the jaunty baritones; he pops up at the end. Announcer #1 was none other than Don LaFontaine, the Voice of God, Mr. Low Subwoofer Rasp of Impending Doom, who actually passed away in 2008. He was virtually an industry unto himself, one that included self-parody; I mean no disrespect by dragging him into this.

When the double-spacing between lines becomes single-spacing, that's the Muppets talking to each other with increasing rapidity, eventually all but talking right over one another. Do your best to read the voices in character in your head...


Announcer #1: "In a world... where movie-trailer announcers... sound like this..."

Gonzo: "Ooh! I love this guy!"

Announcer #1: "... a throat lozenge... is a man's best friend — outside of a dog."

Rowlf: "Thanks for the shout-out."

Announcer #1: "Inside of a dog, of course... it's still too dark... to read."

Fozzie: "Wait a minnit. You stole that line from Groucho!"
Kermit: "Fozzie."
Rowlf: "He did."
Fozzie: "And it doesn't make any sense with 'throat lozenge' instead of 'book'."
Pepé: "I would call eet artistic license, okay."
Miss Piggy: "Is it just moi, or does the word 'lozenge' sound really weird?"
Scooter: "Yeah."
Rowlf: "It does."
Janice: "Rilly, rilly weird."
Beaker: "Meep meep meep!"
Swedish Chef: "Eh? No no no. Soop fur de soor troat! Chickee soop!"
Kermit: "Everybody..."
Animal: "Lah-zinj! Lah-zinj!"

Kermit: "... qui-ahhht! I say we let the man talk. Mr. Announcer?"

Announcer #1: "I have completely... lost my train... of thought."

Fozzie: "May I take over? I am now guild-certified for movie-trailer announcements."

Scooter: "Uh, Kermit? We're only budgeted for ninety sec—"

Announcer #2: "The Next Muppet Movie. Coming to theaters this summer."

Most of my dreams are pretty danged interesting, but I would pay to have a dream like that again.


Joan Crawford said...

Haha! This is awesome! "I have completely lost my train of thought." I wish I remembered my dreams... actually, it's probably best I don't, even I might be creeped out by them :)

El Qué said...

I was apparently Batgirl once in one of Blam's dreams. How cool is that?