23 Skidoo


I saw a headline earlier today that mistakenly omitted a space between words in the title of the new ABC comedy Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23.

My immediate reaction was that I would totally be curious about a show called Don't Trust the Bitchin' Apartment 23.

Why not? Is it haunted? Could it have some sort of weird Lost mystery going on? Does it trap you in the 1980s? Maybe it's actually a sentient traveling location like Danny the Street from Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol (which had the added curiosity of being a transvestite sentient traveling location). Does it come with a secret freezer-closet of cold beer like in those commercials — or, being Apartment 23, perhaps cans of Dr. Pepper — but they're all laced with GHB, and the furniture has its way with you after you pass out?

How simultaneously rad and dangerous is Apartment 23 that it's bitchin' yet we still should not trust it? I need to know.

This post has been brought to you by the number 23 and the letter B.

25 comments:

El Qué said...

You am so delightfully weird.

El Qué said...

PS: I kinda hate to say it, but the actual show is pretty good. Having a bit of a thing for whassername Krysten Ritter from Veronica Mars and Breaking Bad, I decided to check it out; bonus, she gets pixelnekkid. I don't like the big-eyed one so much.

El Qué said...

PSS: Let's go for 23 comments, Mr. B! I'll do it all by myself if I has to.

El Qué said...

I'm serious. I'll do it.

El Qué said...

Should that be "PPS" instead of "PSS"? "Post-post script" and "post-script script" both make sense to me. Help me, Grammar-Blammer!

Joan Crawford said...

I knows this one! It's "PPS" which is almost as much fun to say as the beloved (an absolutely necessary) PPPS. I've never actually seen a PPPPS in the wild and sadly they won't mate in captivity :(

I saw B in 23 last night for a few minutes, Blambot. "I kept feeling like she wanted me to ask, so I didn't" HA!

Joan Crawford said...

I knows this one! It's "PPS" which is almost as much fun to say as the beloved (an absolutely necessary) PPPS. I've never actually seen a PPPPS in the wild and sadly they won't mate in captivity :(

I saw B in 23 last night for a few minutes, Blambot. "I kept feeling like she wanted me to ask, so I didn't" HA!

Joan Crawford said...

@Joan - PS: Just reposting comments doesn't count.

Joan Crawford said...

LK - I will continue to pester you until you acknowledge my question in the other comments section.

PPS: I know you don't agree but I think we'll be fast friends :) See a happy emoticon invokes a sense of normalcy! As does my rehearsed questions I have for you. Such as: is your current favorite animal the same one you had when you were 10? If not, why not? Let's dish, girl! I am told this too makes female humans feel a sense of camaraderie, what your Wikapedia tells me was referred to as "Girl Power" in the late 1990's.

Blam said...


I need help reacting to something.

Yes, "PPS" (and so on) is the proper way.

I got to screen the pilot of Don't Trust the B---- early at ABC's invitation and take a survey about it. My reaction was basically that it was much better — more cleverly written, acted, and assembled — than I'd expected it to be; however, while I'm not a prude I can't fathom something like this airing on network prime-time television. Which seems like an odd reason not to support the show, I guess, if I find it inherently enjoyable, but I don't know if I'll continue with it.

I have no problem with you (singular or plural) going for 23 comments, which is not going to be a record for comments here, but if you're going for exactly 23 comments I look forward to you dealing with the problem of when to stop stuffing the ballot box in case other genuine comments come in and/or somebody wants to ruin your fun. Given how relatively few regular commenters I have, that may not be a big concern, but I hope you've thought this through.

I don't think I'm ready for you two to be friends.

Arben said...

Let's go for 23 comments

What the hell? I'm game.

El Qué said...

Joan: LK - I will continue to pester you until you acknowledge my question in the other comments section.
All right; I hereby acknowledge your question in the other comments section. (As far as the pestering goes, by the way, you're a piker.)

El Qué said...

PS: I mean "piker" in the sense of "a person who withdraws from a commitment" — which the Apple dictionary for some reason denotes as a definition specific to Australia and New Zealand — rather than "a lady of ill repute who tries to turn tricks at turnpike truck stops" (although this is far more alliterative and may perhaps be truthful).

El Qué said...

I want to see Dreama Walker from Apartment 23 and whassername Amanda Seyfried get into a staring contest.

El Qué said...

17! That is 17 comments! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Joan Crawford said...

What I find most upsetting about your comment is that I would only "try" to turn tricks at truck stops along the turnpike! :(

I have always hoped my tale would be told to the masses but never imagined it would be in a filthy tongue twister :)

Piker - "a person who does anything in a contemptibly small or cheap way.*"

Ouch.

Those this may explain why my business on the highways and byways does so poorly...

But enough about me! How ya been? What sort of alarm do wake up to in the morning? The radio, a beeping sound or just generalized existential fear like I do?

El Qué said...

I'll have to go with "generalized existential fear".

El Qué said...

Joan: I have always hoped my tale would be told to the masses but never imagined it would be in a filthy tongue twister :)
Do you also sell seashells by the seashore?
(And by seashells I mean cooch rugs.)
There's an errant asterisk in your "piker" definition, by the way.

Joan Crawford said...

Dammit, the asterix was meant to go by "those this may explain" - WHICH I now realize is a horrible typo; a Frankenstein-like joining of "though" and "this". Brain to finger transmission has failed!

I meant it about the favorite animal question. I am also curious what your "Death Row" meal would be. And if you like unicorns like I do... *giant moon eyes fixed on your every expression*

Blam said...


So it's the moment of truth, LK. Do you want me to disable comments after you hit 23?

El Qué said...

Joan: And if you like unicorns like I do...
Let me guess: with fava beans and a nice chianti.
I'm not sure about my Death Row meal other than that I would want it to be big. Maybe I should say caviar, just for the pun.

El Qué said...

Oh, snap! I meant to do a big thing for the 23rd message, like figure out the spacing to make a big "23" out of little 2s and 3s. Whatevers. No, Blam, I don't think you should close the comments; I doubt you want this conversation of Joan's and mine sprouting up in another, innocent comments section if you whack-a-mole it here. Also, I may have more to say once I figure out why "brain to finger transmission" sounds dirty.

Joan Crawford said...

Brain to finger, brain to finger, brain to finger. Nope, seems like a healthy and normal thing to say to me! Perfectly norm-norm-normal, that's what my therapist always says (we work in 3's and rhymes as I find it soothing)! Now, LK, would you say that you are predominately a "tummy-sleeper" or would you tick the "other" box? And by "other box" I mean the box that just says "other" above it.

El Qué said...

I'm not feeling particularly creative right now, but I'd have to say that I'd check half of the "tummy-sleeper" box and half of the other box, which if I read correctly is the "other" box.
You're waiting for me to ask you a question, right? (Which I'm aware is a question...)

Joan Crawford said...

You're waiting for me to ask you a question, right?

Heavens no! As Blam can attest, my greatest (if not my only) skill is my ability to hold lengthy conversations with virtually no feedback whatsoever.

I'm satisfied just to hear you use the term "tummy-sleeper" :)