Mean Time


You're reading this because no other posts have gone up in several days despite my best efforts and profound desires to the contrary. I haven't done much commenting on other folks' blogs lately, so the following pretty much exhausts my supply of
word-verification witticism for the nonce. Those of you unfamiliar with these periodic offerings are directed to the master list of definitions, which explains the idea and collects the contents of all such posts to date.

Update: Paging through the coupon section from last Sunday's paper this evening, I was confronted with the image of a Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup can and took it as confirmation from the universe that the time had come. As I write these words it's been almost one full week since this post went up and nearly two weeks since I last entered anything substantive, so the icon of that ancient Internet tradition is being placed in the sidebar for at least a little while; frankly, when there's no actual regularity to posting there's no reason to indicate that posting will be irregular. Within the next month this blog will likely go on a formal hiatus anyway so that I can devote more attention to the project that I should be bearing down on already, but I hold out a potentially vain hope, in both senses of the adjective, of getting some languishing, increasingly less timely posts published before that happens if only for the sake of closure. There won't be any more definitions, though, because my connectivity complications keep me from commenting on other blogs just like they prevent me from properly posting here.

arrater — [ahr ay tur] n. Someone who decides that movies have too much sex, violence, or profanity for G, PG, or PG-13.

bousnext — [booz nekst] phr. The way the maitre d' at a tacky Halloween-themed restaurant greets folks in line.

boyawk — [boy awk] n. A young male bird of prey.

cathopi — [kath oh pye] n. A flexible tube 3.14159 mm. in diameter inserted for bladder relief.

conessespl. n. 1. [kah neh siz] Lady tricksters. 2. [koh ness iz] Men sharing the role of the leader of The Untouchables.

dreeabl — [dree ah bul] n. Southern dribble.

Filetro — [fih leh troh] Arch-criminal known for boning his victims. (You know what I mean.)

gewse — [gyoos] n. A very British goose.

Grank — [grank] The 2035 installment of Jason Statham's Chev Chelios franchise.

ingly — [ing lee] adv. In a style that forms adjectives from nouns or the present participles of verbs.

jarrebox — [jar boks] n. A jukebox that only plays Al Jarreau. (He's done more than the Moonlighting theme, people.)

lidysion — [lid ee zhun] n. The pricicple of physics by which bottlecaps stay on.

matterns — [mah ternz] pl. n. Patterns that matter.

oyshille — [oy sheel] excl. Short for "Oy, shillelagh!", an interjection often used by Irish Jews.

phated — 1. [fay tid] adj. Destined to meet at gunpoint aboard the Enterprise. 2. [faht ed] n. Classes that teach you to be totally funkilicious.

provirt — [pro vurt] adj. In favor of high moral standards.

renes — [reh nayz] pl. n. Women who should just walk away (q.v. The Left Banke).

reploni — 1. [rep lah nee] v. Be an agent for Burt Reynolds' ex-wife. 2. [rih ploh nee] v. Answer someone using spiced sausage.

sevist — [seh vist] n. 1. A fist made with seven, yes, seven fingers. 2. One who likes to cut things off. 3. Hip name for Seventh-Day Adventist.

solegr — [sohl gur] n. A lone noise from an angry dog.

5 comments:

Joan Crawford said...

These are great Blam-A-Lama-Ding-Dong. I especially like reploni and oyshille.

Joan Crawford said...

Dear The Silver Blambkin*,

Please to be coming back now. There was talk of you over at Nikki's a little while back. We miss you. Some more than others but I am not here to name names. Gossip just isn't my way, as you well know (though I will say that I miss you more than a certain Unshinesay Usicmay. But that's as far as I'll go. You didn't hear it from me.)


*I was at the library tonight (yes, it was just for a quick sink-bath and a nap, thanks for pointing that out to everyone) and I came across a book of cat names, of all things. In it, there was a cat named "The Silver Lambkin" who was, apparently, a big to-do in his time. Anyway, I of course bastardized his name to fit your name (as I do all things I come across that somewhat rhyme with Blam) and though "A sign! I must contact that Blam and soon."

Sp, consider yourself contacted. :)

Joan Crawford said...

That should read "So, consider yourself contacted"

Not sp. As if I don't know how to spell "sp". Stupid Jerk Blogger for not instinctively knowing what it is I am trying to say.

You are to ignore this and focus on the not unintelligible parts* - surely you have learned this from me by know?

*Yes, thank you. I realize it should say "the intelligible" parts. I'm like a Rolling Stones song sung by Rodney Dangerfield.

Anybody? Anybody?

El Qué said...

Happy (Belated) Birthday, Blammo! ^_^

Blam said...


Gracias, El Qué!

I'm always heartened that you miss me, Out Here on My Joan — even more so when I let myself believe that you're not just after my vital organs for sustenance or replacement parts.

While my haphazard connection makes surfing the web an eternal prelude to a conniption fit, I've been trying to keep up with my favorite blogs, Nikki's included, as much as possible; I'm definitely behind there, though, and I shall endeavor to join in soon or at the very least see what you've been saying about me.

I want a "Stupid Jerk Blogger" T-shirt as long as Blogger doesn't actually get any royalties from it.