Cold Beans


iced coffee in McDonald’s cup with straw on folded gold napkin with coffee beans in small white dish and more strewn artfully about the table

I went to McDonald’s for an iced coffee the other day and had the following exchange at the register.

Me: “Could I get a large hazelnut iced coffee, please?”

Cashier: “Iced coffee?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “What size?”

Me: “Uh... Large.”

Cashier: “Would you like a flavor with that?”

Me: “... Hazelnut?”

The cashier may have been hard of hearing — or just distracted. I’ve learned to give folks a pretty generous heaping of the proverbial benefit of the doubt whatever the circumstance; at my age and, especially, in my less-than-ideal state of health, a little bit of Zen goes a long way. This was really more funny than frustrating, especially when compared to my blog problems or recent dealings with so-called “customer service” at
a couple of different companies or, well, lots of aspects of daily life.

A few summers ago, word of mouth and TV commercials and a coupon — plus, of course, my love of iced coffee — got me to set foot in McDonald’s for the first time in years. I must say that it was worth it. The McCafé brand of lattes and mochas hadn’t come along yet, and even without a coupon a large iced coffee was no more than $1.99 before tax. For a cool, yummy occasional treat, two bucks is perfectly acceptable, especially if I’m running errands and have a headache coming on. What’s more, unlike at Starbucks, Borders, and most local indie coffee shops, flavors are no additional charge — and if there’s one taste combination more sublime than coffee and chocolate or chocolate and hazelnut, it’s coffee and hazelnut. You can have your bubble baths; I’ll take a coffee, hot or iced, with hazelnut, and if you throw in a gentle breeze or my cat
or one of a strangely specific number of soft-rock songs from the ’70s, I’m good.

The price of iced coffee has gone up since the introduction of the McCafé beverages, although contrary to the above promotional image the cup is not served on linen with a side of coffee beans. After a few mediocre orders in a row I’d broken what was becoming perhaps a bit too much of a habit, but Friday night I seriously wanted that iced coffee and, I’m pleased to report, it was delicious.


Photo © 2010 McDonald’s.


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6 comments:

  1. ...and if you throw in a gentle breeze or my cat

    Wait, I should throw the cat where? Aw, you have a cat. Do tell! Also, I LOVE iced coffee! They didn't have it here in Canada until about 1 year ago! Hazelnut is my favorite too unless I get really lucky and find a gas station that has cherry-chocolate coffee.

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  2. Wait, I should throw the cat where?
    Ya took the words right out of my mouth, zombie chick!

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  3. and if you throw in a gentle breeze or my cat or one of a strangely specific number of soft-rock songs from the '70s
    So is it the number that's specific or the songs? ^__^

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  4. I don't obsessively re-read a post for once and my friends jump all over me*. Nice!

    * metaphorically**
    ** I mean the jumping is metaphoric, although "friend" is also open to interpretation.

    Aw, you have a cat. Do tell!

    What part of "my cat" strikes you as not telling you that I have a cat? News flash: I have more than one cat — and fewer than three*; even Joan should be able to figure that one out.

    * I actually wrote "less than three" at first, but besides being ungrammatical, if idiomatic, it's not particularly apt. The bigger of the (spoiler alert) two cats is heavy enough that if I simply told you the combined weights of my cats, you would not necessarily guess that I had fewer than three, as the total might not be less than the weight of three average-sized cats.

    VW [I was logged out]: Filetro — Arch-criminal known for boning his victims. (Wait, that doesn't sound right.)

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  5. My brother had an almost identical experience once. Except it was at a Taco Bell over a taco.


    VW: zingshl - a very quiet rejoinding comment - wait, I think I just made up another word. What did I mean? Hold on......Okay, rejoinder is the word I was thinking of, but that's not right. A very quiet sarcastic comment is closer, but not quite right. Oh well. It's late and I probably shouldn't be attempting to define imaginary words anyways.

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  6. although contrary to the above promotional image the cup is not served on linen with a side of coffee beans.

    Ha! False advertising!

    @Joan: Also, I LOVE iced coffee! They didn't have it here in Canada until about 1 year ago!

    Wait, so Canada didn't think (or couldn't be bothered) to add ice to coffee until a year ago?

    I knew our neighbors to the north were a little bit...off, but that's just strange. ;)

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