Cube Reporting

Photo from Mortiz Ice Cubes Facebook page

Mom gave me another batch of
Ice Cubes after her recent trip to San Francisco.

You don't see Ice Cubes around these parts anymore, but when I was a kid they were the awesomest point-of-purchase items ever at 7-Eleven. For literal pennies, you could have weird but yummy chocolate melt in your mouth — or, if you weren't careful, in your hands, as in the warm weather they got pretty mushy in those foil wrappers pretty darned fast.

Made in Germany by Moritz and distributed in America by Albert's, according to the wrappers, Ice Cubes were out of my life for decades; until recently, I'd assumed they were gone for good. They're still not available in my neck of the woods anywhere I can find, but specialty candy shops in some parts of the country carry them, as do online vendors, and (something that just does not compute, since I associate them with my life of 25-30 years ago) they have their own Facebook page.

While not dark chocolate, pretty much the only kind I care to eat these days — unless you're talking really good milk chocolate, of which in my estimation Hershey's is the exact opposite — Ice Cubes do contain hazelnut, a flavor that I consider chocolate's best friend. Full ingredients, per the wrapper: partially hydrogenated coconut oil, sugar, low-fat cocoa, dried sweet whey, soy flour, hazelnut paste, soy lecithin, artificial vanilla flavor. The primacy of the coconut oil apparently accounts for the namesake cool, melty experience, just as the hazelnut paste combines with it to provide an almost addictive alternative to any other chocoloate I'd tasted as a kid.

Unlike the whole hazelnuts covered with dark chocolate carried by Trader Joe's, Ice Cubes don't offer natural ingredients with antioxidants as a real or even imagined tradeoff for all that saturated fat. They're just flat-out fake, but they're an awfully rare indulgence, and they taste like memories.


Arben said...

Ice Cubes! Wow.
they have their own Facebook page
Yeah, that's like... Hunhh?!?

Teebore said...

they taste like memories.

That's just a great, great phrase for all those tastes and flavors that trigger old memories.

I'm immediately adopting it into my personal vernacular!

El Qué said...

they taste like memories

You am great writer, Blam.

AchingHope said...


VW: instu, Where a bunny is, along with vejetables an' chikkin broth

El Qué said...

Why you cookin' bunnies, AchingHope?

Joan Crawford said...

She's cooking bunnies in an attempt to civilize Evil Blam by weening him off raw bunnies.